I really have nothing to write about this week. I'm not ready to write about the Brewers (maybe next week) for fear of jinxing them, and I don't want to write about the Badgers until they beat someone good (give me all the units on the Badgers this week against stinky Michigan), and honestly, I'm pretty tired of writing about the Bears disappointing me.
I didn't even watch the game on Sunday. I went golfing (and managed to throw out my back in the process...not even swinging...just picking up a ball on the third green...but still shot 82) and listened on the radio. I was getting constant text messages from my friends and family and the last few minutes were pretty hectic. We won, we lost, we won, we lost, then finally won again.
But the entire time, I was pretty numb to it. If the Bears had lost on an offsides penalty on an extra point, I would have expected nothing less. Their game-winning field goal from our new kicker should have felt better, but instead it just reminded me that we needed a game-winning field goal late to beat one of the worst teams in the NFL.
This week, they have a road contest on Monday Night. Washington stinks--nobody is refuting that--but the Bears haven't scored 20 points in a game yet. In fact, they have barely scored 20 points in the season. They are an embarrassment.
I will watch Monday night just because it's what I do...but I won't enjoy it. I'm hoping my son shows up before then so I have an excuse to miss it, but with my luck they will lose and then he will be born and I'll have to tell him he was born on the night the Bears lost to crappy Washington on Monday night because their QB is too scared to throw the ball. None of this sounds enticing.
Anyway, here are my picks. They stink, too. Just so you know.
Tennessee at Jacksonville: Whenever I star player complains about wanting out from a team because he "just wants to win" then I'm probably less inclined to, you know, pick that team to win. Also, Thursday night games are terrible. TITANS 21, JAGUARS 13.
• Cincinnati at Buffalo: Tell you what, I'm getting all aboard the Bills Mafia train. The Bengals had me fooled for a week...but no longer. Go Bills Go! Never a doubt! BILLS 23, BENGALS 18.
• Miami at Dallas: The spread for every Dolphins game this year will be double digits. That's insane to think about. They will compile like 5 first round picks this year, two of which will hit, and they will be awful for the next decade. But hey, great mascot, though. COWBOYS 31, DOLPHINS 3.
• Denver at Green Bay: The Packers will be able to shut down Joe Flacco just like the Bears (mostly) did but the difference is the Packers can probably score points whereas the Bears are trying a very interesting strategy of not scoring points this year. Let's see how it works out for them. PACKERS 23, BRONCOS 13.
• Atlanta at Indianapolis: The Falcons have completely derailed. The Colts lost their QB and have rallied behind a great defense and run game. Give me the home team in this scenario all day. COLTS 26, FALCONS 15.
• Baltimore at Kansas City: Boy this Mahomes fella is sure good. He is sureeeeeeeee good. Would be nice to have a player like that. Real nice. Really, really, really *breaks down into tears* CHIEFS 31, RAVENS 20.
• Oakland at Minnesota: The Vikings are much better at home than on the road which is the only excuse I can think of for giving up 21 to Green Bay on the first three drives. Kirk Cousins is also still the worst. VIKINGS 24, RAIDERS 21.
NY Jets at New England: Another 20 point spread and, with the Jets on their third QB, it may not be enough. I'll be hard-pressed to pick against the Patriots all season and I'm not starting with this game. PATRIOTS 41, JETS 13.
• Detroit at Philadelphia: I would never consider the Lions here except that the Eagles are very injured on both sides of the ball. I think the Lions escape with a win here if they run the ball (a lot) and Stafford doesn't make a big boo-boo. LIONS 27, EAGLES 20.
Carolina at Arizona: The Panthers may not have Cam and if that's the case, all my money on the Cardinals in this game. Nobody wants to pick a backup QB on the road. CARDINALS 28, PANTHERS 23.
• NY Giants at Tampa Bay: The Bucs are not good but neither are the Giants. However, the Giants are turning to their rookie QB which may give the offense a little spark. This is a risky pick but one I like. GIANTS 20, BUCS 17.
• Houston at LA Chargers: The Chargers are pretty beat up and I do like the Texans. They've got a nice young QB...quite the player. Would be nice to have a player like that. Sure would be nice to ha *breaks into tears* TEXANS 30, CHARGERS 24.
Pittsburgh at San Francisco: The Steelers are without their star QB, traveling across the country, and facing a team who just won a big road game. This would be a tough pick for road squad here. 49ERS 27, STEELERS 24.
• New Orleans at Seattle: The Saints are without Drew Brees...this should be an easy one to pick, especially on the road. SEAHAWKS 28, SAINTS 17.
• LA Rams at Cleveland: Welcome to the Cleveland Browns Dumpster Fire. I wasn't a big Freddie Kitchens fan coming into this season and so far, nothing has changed that belief. I'll take the Rams with a big Sunday night road win. RAMS 30, BROWNS 20.
• Chicago at Washington: Oh Bears, why do you hate me so? Maybe this week, against a bad Washington defense, they can get the offense rolling (meaning throw for like 225 yards). I don't like this, but I think the defense will keep Washington at bay. BEARS 23, WASHINGTON 17.