If I could stress what a young family needs to raise their children in growing up to be proud young adults, this is how to do it.
In today's society as parents and grandparents rule number one is discipline, tough love and respect. It all begins in the home.
Outside influence makes it more difficult but day by day rules by which you may succeed are not printed in a book but wise opinions will help you decide which example to follow in raising your children to be proud young adults.
Set an example by being parents who use respect as the right path to follow. You are not your children's friend but remain a parent whose responsibility is first to set rules by which to enforce what you as the parent expect of your children to live every day to become successful young adults.
It starts first that when you say "no" it means no, not perhaps, or maybe. As difficult as this might be they will understand what you expect of them. It's the first step in being a good parents and your reward will be the respect they show in return.
I've found our young people of today want to become respectful, not the example society of today projects to them.
Also, be aware of the teachers who are teaching our young people. If a teacher shows poor judgment in their choices of procedures of learning, question their ability. Get involved in what is expected of our educational systems in our schools today.